Sexual Assault Part Deux
Nov. 13th, 2009 09:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
frahulettaes The men in your lives will tell you what they do. As long as the R word doesn’t get attached, rapists do self-report. The guy who says he sees a woman too drunk to know where she is as an opportunity is not joking. He’s telling you how he sees it. The guy who says, “bros before hos”, is asking you to make a pact.
The Pact. The social structure that allows the predators to hide in plain sight, to sit at the bar at the same table with everyone, take a target home, rape her, and stay in the same social circle because she can’t or won’t tell anyone, or because nobody does anything if she does. The pact to make excuses, to look for mitigation, to patch things over—to believe that what happens to our friends—what our friends do to our friends—is not (using Whoopi Goldberg’s pathetic apologetics) “rape-rape.”
. . . The rapists can’t be your friends, and if you are loyal to them even when faced with the evidence of what they do, you are complicit.
Following on last post, emphasis mine. Hiding in plain site, appearing to be a 'nice guy', lying for each other. According to the article, we don't have anything to fear from most guys. But. And this is a big but, those that we do have something to fear from are clearly getting their backs covered by other guys. Nice guys. Maybe even your guy.
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rm.
I'm glad to be finding these. They are way more eloquent than I and I'm glad to be able to get this out cause it felt like it was festering inside me and that is one place I don't need anymore festering.
The Pact. The social structure that allows the predators to hide in plain sight, to sit at the bar at the same table with everyone, take a target home, rape her, and stay in the same social circle because she can’t or won’t tell anyone, or because nobody does anything if she does. The pact to make excuses, to look for mitigation, to patch things over—to believe that what happens to our friends—what our friends do to our friends—is not (using Whoopi Goldberg’s pathetic apologetics) “rape-rape.”
. . . The rapists can’t be your friends, and if you are loyal to them even when faced with the evidence of what they do, you are complicit.
Following on last post, emphasis mine. Hiding in plain site, appearing to be a 'nice guy', lying for each other. According to the article, we don't have anything to fear from most guys. But. And this is a big but, those that we do have something to fear from are clearly getting their backs covered by other guys. Nice guys. Maybe even your guy.
link via
rm. I'm glad to be finding these. They are way more eloquent than I and I'm glad to be able to get this out cause it felt like it was festering inside me and that is one place I don't need anymore festering.
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Date: 2009-11-14 09:01 pm (UTC)I'm sorry that happened to you. And, that has also happened to me. While drugged, drunk and too damned tired to care.
And yet, the whole concept that in order to find friends, have a good time and be social, involves going to a public place and becoming stupid on alcohol or drugs is so male. They obviously need it in order to have fun because the orientation of the male mind is control centered. Whereas for women, at least as far as my lj experience tells me, enjoyment is more oriented to joined understanding, shared interest and communication. Now, this is a pretty gross generalization. I'll admit that. But I just reject that going out, buying expensive drinks in the presence of potential abusers and being judged solely on my looks is fun. It's not. Hmm. I guess I need to post on this.