And another thing

[frahulettaes]

First off, if you haven't read Knuckles of Skinnybone Tree by hansbekhart then go now and read it. Make time, it's long and layered and completely satisfying. And so heartbreakingly beautiful. In fact, just about everything at spn_j2_bigbang is worth the time and effort to read. and while I'm on this subject, I'd just like to say how much I'm enjoying reading in a fandom that has long fics, with depth and heart and so much love. I'm just constantly in awe at the sheer volume of amazing fic in spn. On lots of levels. The short stuff the long stuff. Pretty much all that's missing is spn macros. And if you know of a com doing that, please to be hooking me up!



sadelyrate has a great POST on Dean and his weapons of which I'm a big fan. Of his 'weapons'. Yeah. Just the scenes of him cleaning them is pretty much enough for me but this post breaks down the weapons by season and show. It's awesome. Some really good points in there about weapon choice and canon. I muchly liked it. And as with this fandom, the comments are as interesting and deep as the post itself.

Dean's nickel plated Colt 1911 with a mother of pearl handle grip? Makes me so happy. I talked to a weapon guy where I work, he used to handle weapons for mainstream movies, interestingly, he's also from Texas, (what are the odds?) is incredibly tall, (inner smirk) and totally built. (he makes me smile. His name is JOHN) He has a large gun collection both here and at his place in Dallas. I loved listening to him talk about them. He rocks. He said that the Colt 1911 is a really commonly used gun. Single action pistol designed by Browning and used heavily in both WW's. Problem is, it has to be cocked before you can fire it, so once you cock it and walk around with it you have to really be aware of not firing it and if you don't cock it and confront someone and that person sees it's not cocked, if they're good, they can take it from you before you can cock the hammer back. Also, he said he sold his cause the grip was too small for his hand. (sporfle!) Which, when I found this out, made me laugh. Because I'm weird like that. Ah, Dean and your small gripped gun! (just kidding)

I've been watching these eps quite a lot: The Usual Suspects, Cross Road Blues, Croatoan, Hunted, and Playthings (though that one got erased by mistake *sad face*). I'm interested in watching the eps enough times to get some of the smaller bits. First off, it took me a number of watchings to get that the woman officer in TUS's was Linda Blair. Duh, I feel like a dunce, but Dean just blinds me with his shiny goodness so I forgive myself. And I also find it funny cause I was at a charity event with Linda and I'd've thought I would remember. Apparently not. I can be dense sometimes. Especially when the shiny distracts me. But I also liked this ep cause it shows that both Sam and Dean are smart. Putting them in separate rooms? Nice. When they both start working out Dana Schulps? So hot. Also, Dean in cuffs...SHINY. Dean slammed against the wall? SHINY SHINY. And it was during this ep that I finally got that Dean likes pain. I think he wears it like honor. He's had a lifetime of getting used to pain. I wonder if he could go a span of time without it. He's the kind of guy who spoils for a fight cause being in pain means being alive. He seems like the kind of guy who gets in a bar fight to discharge grief. Also, SHINY. (sorry, I'll stop that now)

Which sort of brings me to Playthings and the infamous gay scene in the bedroom.

Dean: The more troubling question is, why does everyone think we're gay?

Sam: Well, you are pretty butch. They probably think you're overcompensating.

Which launched a thousand fics, I know, many of which were awesome. But you know, I love Dean's butchness. It is over exaggerated. Totally and comically so. Sometimes tragically so. And this is also problematic for me.

Can someone explain to me why I can totally be in love with Dean and the show and balance that with the fact that women on the show are temporary? Are a diversion? Some of them are strong, but the whole show is guys guys guys. It's a ship all full of guys. Yes, we have Ellen, (the mom), Jo (also, temporary) and female demons. And yes, there will be more women on the show. And granted we don't know how that will look and it sort of reeks of second season Sentinel when the producers freaked over the gay subtext and started throwing women in to try and dilute that.

Am I just liking what I've been trained to like because that's all I get? (the male gaze thing)
I mean beside the whole slash is love thing cause that's just par for the course in most shows regardless of canon. For me, anyway. I see slash cause I choose to see it. I just find myself uncomfortable with liking a thing that seems so...gosh, I can't even describe it. I can't make myself not like the show cause I don't like how they treat women.

Okay, here's a thought and please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not exactly fond of women as a group. I like lots of individual women, yes and I'm friends with them, but as a group, I have lots of problems with how women treat each other. Maybe it's just easier and more relaxing to take a vacation in boyland than it is to deal with the whole gangleon of female interactions.

Which is confusing and distracting. Wanting to be treated fairly in fiction and entertainment and yet not being able to get behind women as a group.

Help! My brain is melting. Honestly, any information welcomed.

There seems to be a certain thing for me about the loyalty between Dean and Sam that I love and that also breaks my heart. Broken just drips off yet they're so there for each other. It touches me in a deep and painful way.

The opening scenes of Hunted with Jefferson Airplane playing is fantastic. Also, BROTHER ANGST! Gotta love that. Just all kinds of gooey brother stuff all rich and full of pain and twitchyness. Just love love love. It's like really good fanfic. Also, when I watched this with my gay room mate and his partner, their reaction was priceless. Partner shouts from the kitchen while Dean and Sam 'talk' at the begining "What a couple of drama Queens!" And then he laughs and says, "Just kiss already"...*squishes my lovely gayes* These two are at the point where THEY point the slash out to ME. *happy sigh*

I think I'm going to write something about the selective use of christian theology in the show. What I mean by that is the use of Demons, demonic possession, exorcism and holy water and rosaries countered by very little use of angels or god or protective magic is interesting to me. Granted that a lot of the show is based around urban legends which is understandable, the use of christian theology for bad guys without the balance of the good tugs at me sometimes. I'm not comfortable with the idea of including angels and stuff. I don't want the show to turn into highway to heaven. And Sam does admit that he prays, very late in s2. (unless I'm completely off my nut though I don't remember the ep) I just wonder why the only people fighting for good are a bunch of homeless vigilantes. These are all very unrefined thoughts.

These are all just ruminations. I like thinking about them and I like working them out by writing about them. I've sort of shyed away from a lot of meta for reasons I've already stated in previous posts. Mostly because though I love to talk and write about this stuff, it inevitably just shows how little I know about myself and about how I interpret culture.

Also, thoughts on the Demon Newsletter? In CRB, the demon that Dean makes the deal with alludes to knowing about John and flat out says she/he knows about John's deal to save Dean. I love how she tortures Dean with it. *cause I'm sick and love the Dean whumping. he suffers so prettily* I see this theme come up in Hunted when Gordy tells Dean that he learned about the war when he was excorsizing that girl in Louisiana and again in the dealings with YED and John where he tortures John with the knowledge that he knows what Sam is and what's going to happen to him. I like that the demons are mouthpieces for exposition. God bless'm and their monologuing. It would be interesting to see a catalog of demon exposition. And seeing it all laid out, what would that say? Are the show writers that thoughtful and detailed? I mean generally, I like the shows continuity. Those of you who are more detail oriented, know how good they are? Whether we can count on them sticking to their own canon? Just curious.

That's all I got for now.